'A Quiet Place' Review: Nightmare Shyamalan aka a Quiet Fake


By Nataranjan Bohidar
MOM's got the award for best female actor, but that's Sridevi, not Emily Blunt
This Hollywood movie is  slated to make noise, if not sound waves in China!


Just the place to give this horrifying effort at horror a quiet burial...making noise in repressive China may make cannon fodder or something stastier© out of you, but it makes sound nonsense elsewhere in the free world...


The Abott is a serious Father, it's the rambunctious friars who discovered rum
As if Night Shyamalan wasn't bad enough, the cornfields here and the quicksand silos of grain (Soya? Lentil?) are an even worse nightmare...and the bathtub is getting a bit repetitive even if the Shape of Water makes a somewhat more mysterious appearance from about nowhere (suddenly now here, unless you confuse her water broke causing floody© amNoahtic©). But, surely not from Scotland!


So, can we leave the Rusty Nail as pristine as it should Drambuie be, please, and not confuse it with Bloody Mary? (No drunken driving puns intended, because the impenetrable truck reverse rides in a perfect straight line, even though the film itself may have been shot over-inebriated)

Decibellicose©
Now, metaphoric overtures of carrying over three in a divide and cruel, carrying Shakespeare’s Sonnet into summery future, carrying an American staple - a gun, carrying child and carrying cochlear implants while carrying out decibellicose© research may have impressed low brow Times of India into giving this pretentious coupler attempt – where director also couples as actor – a 4/5 star rating, (you have to understand FILMFARE/awards ownership to appreciate that and why it is quite alright for the world’s largest broadsheet to bill the movie “A QUITE PLACE” ) but the paper ought to have at least asked to see the meaningful sequence of just how quietly a couple needs to make sex to make a baby, when Big Brother, in this case, isn't watching, but perversely listening, even as at least one boy sleeps close by without hearing an orgasp©! (Sounds like our very own very familiar very fecund very discreet very Indian family, working very hard to make one more very male child, as another sleeps in very close proximity...and promiscuity? )

Nataranjan Bohidar
Citizen Positioner
Silencing in a Democracy within a Continuum © that is India
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